Cher’s practicing the “Infinite Monkey Theorem”

There is a theorem that says that if you give a monkey (or any animal) an infinite amount of time banging away on a keyboard, eventually the monkey will produce a work of Shakespeare. Or something like that.

If you happen to be following Cher on Twitter, you are basically watching that theorem play out before the world. Sure, she manages a few words here and there that resemble a sentence, but was it on purpose there or did she just get lucky?

Unfortunately, celebrities like Cher have an outsized voice on any range of topics that they freely use to make us all dumber. Does anyone give her credence when she threatens her political opponents? Even The Donald once called her a “lonely loser”.

That’s saying something.

So Cher happened to stumble across the movie Blackfish not long ago and, as some do, instantly became an expert in marine biology and the animal care practices at SeaWorld. Of course, every tweet was borderline unintelligible.

Huh?

So F#%k SeaWorld cookies? Now, murder, torture and SeaWorld cookies are not cute? What’s the world coming to?

I’m not even sure where this was supposed to be going. All caps make sane people’s brains hurt.

It’s sad that so many people pay attention to what kooks like Cher have to say. She tries so hard to demonstrate why you shouldn’t.

The best approach is to not get angry, but rather stare at her with wild fascination. If the theorem holds true, we could have Shakespeare any minute.

Seriously, even Buzzfeed has this post: “Is this a real Cher tweet or computer generated”